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As stated on previous pages, dis-stress occurs when the demands on you exceed your resources for dealing with those demands. One of the most demanding things is change, and the greater the degree of change and the more changes that there are within a given period of your life, the greater is the stress that you are likely to experience. Here is a list of just some of the stress making changes, which can affect us, and as you will see, both 'positive' and 'negative' changes have an impact.

  1. Getting married, splitting up, divorcing, reconciling
  2. Pregnancy - personal or within the family
  3. Redundancy - personal or within the family
  4. An increased number of family get-togethers
  5. An outstanding personal achievement
  6. Christmas and other celebrations, including holidays
  7. Moving house
  8. Starting a new job/hobby/anything
  9. Promotion
  10. Coming into money
  11. Bereavement
  12. Being underworked/unchallenged or overworked

In addition to these changes (some or all of which will happen to all of us at some time) we sometimes set up stressful situations for ourselves because of our perception of how we "must be". Examples of these 'driven behaviours' are:-

  • "Please others" - If they want it, I must do it (regardless of how unreasonable it may be, or what other plans I may have)
  • "Be perfect" - I can't relax until it is right (and it can never be quite right)
  • "Hurry up" - there's so much to do and no time to do it (regardless of what the tasks are or how unreasonable your workload may be)
  • "Try harder" - I'm going to keep on trying whatever, (even if I don't need to any more)
  • "Be strong" - I must keep going, even if everyone else is going under (regardless of how I feel)